heart aches for you

Hi kind friend, I'm listening to Rosie Thomas and listening to her, even though she is new to me, reminds me incredibly of you. All these memories come flooding back, I can see you and me in the Australia room, I can remember running and swimming with you, and dreaming of our futures. I can picture your E coming to Australia room and you knowing that this was the man you would marry. I can remember sitting on State street watching all the people going by, you meeting me on campus when I was so incredibly lonely. I can picture us praying together at the end of the pool after swimming, and eating at that little 50's diner. I miss you my dear friend, more than this little note could express. I want to get the Rosie Thomas cd, I like what I'm hearing, and I like that it makes me feel like I've visited you.

On the topic of music, the newest band that we've discovered is Augie March. Check it out and let me know what you think.

Do you play the guitar much these days? I have one in the closet, but never pull it out...don't seem to have time. How are you doing with your belly these days? You must be about 25 weeks?

I took this picture a few days ago of my fabulous bread cutting job. You'd think that this was a rushed job by how un-even the slices were, but seriously this took me several minutes. This is officially T's job now. The next loaf of bread, I should have taken a photo of as well, T cut the bread in less than five minutes and the slices were so slim and even, amazing. This is totally NOT my spiritual gift. I don't think I'll win any bread slicing competitions.

On the life front, we seem to be doing the same things. My days are full of changing nappies (diapers), feeding children, and getting the odd job done here and there -- occasionally that is. I'm still not up to leaving the house, I've turned down a few invites to different gatherings. I'm a little bit afraid that if I continue to say 'no' which I plan to for awhile yet that people will stop asking me. But that's okay, I knew when I was pregnant with N that this day would come when I would be very home focused. I'm blessed by all three of our children and so am thankful that I can stay at home with them. Just trying to work out how to be in community when I'm at this point so swamped with home life.

The topic of relationships is often on my mind. Friends and people that I interact with as well as home relationships, being a wife and mom. Recently I've been contemplating what is legit in knowing information about other people. I'm for sure known as that person who asks the awkward and revealing questions. I've been analyzing myself and just the whole reason we ask and share information with one another. I don't want to ask hard questions just because I have the ability to think up the question and the guts to ask it. So I've been thinking about "why ask?", and "by what standard do I use to ask?". I know that it is good to know and be known. I think that this is how God has made us, to desire to be a part of community. The Bible says that our speech should be that which is uplifting and up building, basically that which is profitable. That is why gossip and speculation on people outside of ourselves is NOT good. I haven't really come to a concrete answer to my questions of "why ask?" and "by what standard?" but I do have a general sense that I don't want to pry just for the sake of knowing.

It's good to be real, especially I think so that we can be praying for one another. We are amidst an invisible battle, and we should band together to fight. Plus, often we can be strengthened if we know that we are not alone, either in praying for whatever is happening in our lives, or just that what we are experiencing others have experienced.

I'm not sure that I am making complete sense. Do you KCJ or any reader have any thoughts on this?

What's been on your mind recently?