too good not to document

Tonight after we put E and S in bed for the night, we could hear E praying. He was thinking of all the things that he could be thankful for. The list included Mama, Dada, S, N, his bears, and Charlie (our dog we gave away). I couldn't hear everything else he said, but my heart filled with joy. This is my greatest desire, for my children to know Him in a real every day sort of way.

On another note, I borrowed this cd from some friends here. It's a great worship/memory cd for children.

spring is here and so good to hear from you

Spring is here. It's been super warm the past two days. We've been going barefoot during the day, well all but S, he doesn't seem to like his feet on the grass yet.

I feel that I learn so much every single day about parenting. But the core lesson that I come back to has been go slow, be gentle. I've even written those words on our white board to remind myself each time I pass. It's so easy when I reflect on the day to feel grace and mercy towards each situation, but sometimes when I am in those situations I get super annoyed at the smallest detail. The key is to go slow and seek Him so that I can be gentle.

KCJ I will be praying about Desiring God possibilities. Tell me more when you get time. Tell me about baby C too. AND homeschooling.

I'm Back!

It is so good to read your posts and hear about what's going on. Things here have been a little crazy with a newborn and trying to homeschool a kindergarter. E's sister has been here ever since C was born and she helps me immensely. She needs to start 9th grade on Monday so she is going home tomorrow. I will be so sad, but E will still be home since they changed the paternity leave to 7 weeks. Praise the Lord!!! Please be praying for us as E is traveling to Minnesota this week to talk to Desiring God about some opportunities. We have been praying for His guidance for our future and it could include a big job change!
Sorry it has seem that I have fallen off the face of the earth!
kj

what's the hype

I continue to think much on the topic of going slow. I don't know what came over me last night and then again this morning, but for several minutes I became someone else. At least I hope that person I became is someone else, not truly me. Maybe that's actually the scary truth, that that person is me, me at the core, and the me that I am more familiar with is the me by the grace of God. Yes, now that I write this, that must be the truth. Praise God for his grace and mercy in my life.

I totally am desperate for Him, and I am realizing more and more the only way that I can acknowledge God in a practical sort of way is to go slower. I don't know what clock I live by, but I always seem to think I'm late. We don't have that many deadlines, and when we do I am not usually late. And if I was, would the world stop? I think you know the answer to that one.

Time to take another deep breathe. Ahhhh.

vulnerability

Over the weekend, my friend allowed me to serve her in a real life sort of way. I'm so thankful that I got to share in her life in this moment that she is in. For me it is easier to serve than to allow someone to serve or help me. Furthermore, if I allow them to help me I try hard to control the way that they can do it. I felt as though my friend allowed herself to be vulnerable with me. I greatly admire her for allowing me in like that. I hope to learn and allow others' into my life in the same sort of way. That to me is real community.

slow life movement

Terry and the boys were playing happily and dinner was already on the table. In the past I would have tried to rush them to the table so that we could eat our soup hot, yet this time I was able to stop myself and enjoy the moment rather than rushing them to the table to have hot soup. Which is more important, hot soup or time with family? I think the latter. I do feel that this week I've made progress in slowing down life and enjoying the moments of life rather than being in the current moment anticipating the next. It has been much more pleasant and enjoyable. Ah, deep breath.

N is sleeping better at night and I am so thankful for this new turn of events in my life. Sleep is a privilege but it is so nice when I get more of it. I still have a lingering sense of being tired but I think that this will pass with time, I hope.

take a deep breath

Yesterday we had some friends over for dinner. One of the little girls got hurt. As she was wailing her mom said to her "take a deep breath". As she took in the air and blew out, she stopped crying and calmed. I feel as though I have been crying a lot in life, and it is now time to take a deep breath. I'm moving forward and promising myself to go slower, soak in the moments of every day life, and count my blessings each night as I fall asleep.

I hope to reflect this newness in my life and attitude and writing.

welcome

Welcome to the outside world CJ. Glad you are here safely.

sleep deprived

Going on 6 months of no solid sleep at night is taking it's toll and making me a bit loopy. This weekend I was terribly introspective. In some ways it is actually good to be a little bit self analytical, but by Sunday night I was exhausted and sad. I think the sad was just from being tired and having a full on day with the boys.

Church is a good exercise to do, to build the habit with the boys and N. Yet, I keep having to alter my expectations of what my personal church experience is going to be. It's been AGES since I've heard a sermon properly. This use to really frustrate me, but now I've accepted that this is a season. A season of focusing on the children to help them understand and grow in all of the life circumstances that we are going through.

Another tangent. This summer I want to go to the beach lots. I'm wondering though how practical that will be with a 3, 2, and 1 year old. Water safety is the number one question. KCJ, do you use floating devices with your girls? Did you enroll them in water classes? How could I best prepare my boys for water play?

one of those days

The morning started off in a funk. I was in the shower and Seth vomited on Terry while Terry was holding both Seth and Naomi. We got it all cleaned up and it was the only sign of something wrong with Seth, but I was in a weird space, even spilling muesli on the ground frustrated me.

How do I keep perspective and just call it as it is, and say this is just going to be one of those days. One of those days where it's not a 10 and that's okay. One of those days where it's okay to let the reigns loose a bit and go slower and do less and maybe even watch more t.v.

I'd like to have a back up plan ready to pull out for those days where it is, you got it, just one of those days.