Pacific Northwest

We just got back from a week long vacation to Portland, Seattle and Vancover. It was a lot of driving for three young kids but it was worthwhile. The first three days we spent in Seattle. E worked from the Seattle office, and we stayed in a hotel near the U of Washington. We took a day trip up to Vancouver and visited an old friend of mine from college. They gave me quite a hard time on the border since I had no identification for the kids. They looked at me like I was some kind of crazy person for not carrying their birth certificates with me at all times. Is that normal, do most people always carry their kids birth certificates with them? They asked A all kinds of questions, she is 4 mind you, so her answers were a little off. For instance they asked if she had seen her dad that morning. She said "No", however E had not only helped her get dressed, but we had eaten breakfast together, and we had personally dropped him off at work. So word to the wise, you cannot trust everything a 4 year old has to say. Thankfully they did let us in, and even gave the kids Canadian flags.

After the three days in Seattle we drove down to Portland, OR and stayed with my Aunt. She was very gracious to let our family stay with her. E and I were able to attend the Regional Desiring God conference and see John Piper speak. It was such a huge encouragement. Hearing him speak always makes me want to move back to Minneapolis, just to attend Bethlehem Baptist again.

So all in all we did have a great time, despite K going back to her newborn schedule waking up every two hours at night, her barfing and my severe indigestion (I broke down and got Tums after suffering for two days). Although after being gone I am always so thankful and content to be home. It is such a relief to get the kids back into a routine and things to get back to normal. I don't even mind cleaning, and that is saying a lot!

M, I have been praying for your housing situation. Keep me posted!

i feel sick

We gave away our dog last night. They are going to trial him for a week. Our dog loves us and hates everyone else so hoping he will take to his new owners, yet not entirely confident with their method of getting him to warm to them.

We have 2 weeks until we have to be out of our home. We only have 3 prospect homes. One of which doesn't become available until two weeks after we have to move out, and the other 2 we will probably be up against a minimum of 5 other applicants. Plus we've already been knocked back from 3 properties we've applied for because of the caliber of competition.

I'm tired physically, mentally, and spiritually. I feel as though I am being sifted.

heart aches for you

Hi kind friend, I'm listening to Rosie Thomas and listening to her, even though she is new to me, reminds me incredibly of you. All these memories come flooding back, I can see you and me in the Australia room, I can remember running and swimming with you, and dreaming of our futures. I can picture your E coming to Australia room and you knowing that this was the man you would marry. I can remember sitting on State street watching all the people going by, you meeting me on campus when I was so incredibly lonely. I can picture us praying together at the end of the pool after swimming, and eating at that little 50's diner. I miss you my dear friend, more than this little note could express. I want to get the Rosie Thomas cd, I like what I'm hearing, and I like that it makes me feel like I've visited you.

On the topic of music, the newest band that we've discovered is Augie March. Check it out and let me know what you think.

Do you play the guitar much these days? I have one in the closet, but never pull it out...don't seem to have time. How are you doing with your belly these days? You must be about 25 weeks?

I took this picture a few days ago of my fabulous bread cutting job. You'd think that this was a rushed job by how un-even the slices were, but seriously this took me several minutes. This is officially T's job now. The next loaf of bread, I should have taken a photo of as well, T cut the bread in less than five minutes and the slices were so slim and even, amazing. This is totally NOT my spiritual gift. I don't think I'll win any bread slicing competitions.

On the life front, we seem to be doing the same things. My days are full of changing nappies (diapers), feeding children, and getting the odd job done here and there -- occasionally that is. I'm still not up to leaving the house, I've turned down a few invites to different gatherings. I'm a little bit afraid that if I continue to say 'no' which I plan to for awhile yet that people will stop asking me. But that's okay, I knew when I was pregnant with N that this day would come when I would be very home focused. I'm blessed by all three of our children and so am thankful that I can stay at home with them. Just trying to work out how to be in community when I'm at this point so swamped with home life.

The topic of relationships is often on my mind. Friends and people that I interact with as well as home relationships, being a wife and mom. Recently I've been contemplating what is legit in knowing information about other people. I'm for sure known as that person who asks the awkward and revealing questions. I've been analyzing myself and just the whole reason we ask and share information with one another. I don't want to ask hard questions just because I have the ability to think up the question and the guts to ask it. So I've been thinking about "why ask?", and "by what standard do I use to ask?". I know that it is good to know and be known. I think that this is how God has made us, to desire to be a part of community. The Bible says that our speech should be that which is uplifting and up building, basically that which is profitable. That is why gossip and speculation on people outside of ourselves is NOT good. I haven't really come to a concrete answer to my questions of "why ask?" and "by what standard?" but I do have a general sense that I don't want to pry just for the sake of knowing.

It's good to be real, especially I think so that we can be praying for one another. We are amidst an invisible battle, and we should band together to fight. Plus, often we can be strengthened if we know that we are not alone, either in praying for whatever is happening in our lives, or just that what we are experiencing others have experienced.

I'm not sure that I am making complete sense. Do you KCJ or any reader have any thoughts on this?

What's been on your mind recently?

ditto

Me too, I've become a pretty slack blogger too. I loved it when I made the time last November to blog everyday. It was fun challenging myself, but I was glad when the month was over too. Although I agree with Stephanie at little birds that there is something good about not spending heaps of time on the computer, I really like blogging for the reasons of staying connected, documenting life, and the way it encourages me to look at my days as they pass. Somehow even if I finish the day but have nothing to show, if I am able to blog then there is something that is a product of my day. Did that make sense?

Looking after three little ones takes up almost my entire day. By time they are all three in bed, I'm exhausted and all I want to do is sleep as well. It's okay for now, but sometimes I can get a bit funny about that there is nothing to show for my work. Yes, yes, I know I have three growing children and that is what I have to show for my efforts, but that is only in small increments that you see the "result". I also keep trying to remind myself that this is such a short season of life soon enough N won't be feeding as often, and I'll get more confident about my supply and thus will start to encourage her into more of a rhythm, rather than always willy nilly.

Most days are really good. We are having to find a new house because the owners of our current house sold our house and we have till the 7th of May to get out. For several days I felt really positive and trusting of God that He was going to provide. This week my faith has been so incredibly weak. I feel that it's been tested with a few certain situations over the past few days and I have crumbled under the weight of the tests. I end up feeling so bereft, and realize how little I have to offer God. Sometimes I know that I am tempted to think that I am inheritantly good, that I deserve some of God's kindness and grace. In my head I know this is not true, but I can still be tempted to think these sort of thoughts. I guess that's why it's good to be brought back to my knees, to see how weak I am, and to feel the truth that I deserve NOTHING but fire and heat.

We're really no closer to finding a house to live in. Today I just feel a bit burned out and so I don't even have energy to worry about the house or anything for that matter. After I finish this post, I'm going to take the little guy in the picture above, go make two teas, one for him, and one for me. Sit outside while he plays, and pour my heart out to God. I feel I need a good cry with Him. It's crazy that we are blessed when we are poor in Spirit, but I can understand why, because it brings me to God in a very real, quiet, gentle, and needing way. The need is always the same, but when I am broken, that's when I see the reality of my need.

Guilty Blogger

I might be the worst blogger ever. I know I should be updating at least twice a week, however I have been lucky to do it twice a month. Anyway, I can't stop listening to the new Rosie Thomas CD called "These Friends of Mine." I love it! If you get a chance to listen to it, do it.
We are going to Portland, OR and Seattle in a few weeks and she is going to be playing so I am really hoping we get the chance to see her perform.
What have you been up to the past few weeks?